Wednesday, June 28, 2006 

Lost...
Have i made the right choice? I dunnoe lah... it seems like i've lost my aim in life already. I dun really know what i want now. Maybe i should have taken that job the last time. Or maybe i should have signed on in commando, i'll get to keep the prestige and the high pay.

But problem is, i want to have a sense of personal achievement. Not ride on the fame of others in the past. Well if singapore were to fight a war, i would be the first to sign on. If not, i really think i'm not achieving anything and wasting my life in there.

Often u will hear people say, "when u close one door, another one opens..." But dun seems like any door has opened for me yet.

I realy hope i can find the job of my deams... A job that will give me a sense of personal achevement, that will let me travel the world, that will let me learn new things and a job that will let my life be meaningful.

Wish me luck...

6/28/2006 10:00:00 PM | |

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 

Ultimate High Day...
haha... Went over to Toshi house to play majong... haha... With Nari, SiewCheng, Low, Steve, Joslin and Toshi (ofcoz, it's his house... haha...) I think tomolo in class we'll have alot to say already. Haha...

Anyway when it was my turn to be banker, i won 4 rounds, haha... last round was the most ultimate one. i have zero "tai", like my last 3 round... haha... then they all throw "dong" for me! haha... Because i banker "dong" can be "1 tai" for me. Haha... my "dong" still can "Kang" some more haha... Then is "pong" "pong" "pong" all the way, plus one "zhi mo" "4 tong".. haha... Dunnoe what i'm talking about ah? haha... It's ok lah... Just wanna say it's very good luck for me today. The last 3 rounds i got no "tai" also can "hu"...

But we didn't play for long lah. We left in the evening coz Toshi got to work, but before that, he have to give Nari a ride to the airport to work also lah... haha... If not think we'll still be playing till the night... Steve left the earliest. He left the game halfway becoz he got called back to his office for a meeting... Even when not on duty. Well, i guess this is working life, your ass dun belong to u anymore... haha...

Anyway we had our early dinner at Toshi's new restaurant. Not bad lah... Haha... Think i better start brushing up my cooking skill. Seems like guys are doing more of the cooking now.


Me, Joslin, Siewchin
Nari, Toshi and Low...
With our "13 yao" hahaha... If only it was real... haha...

Anyway got to apologise to Low, haha... had we not ask him to give us a ride to Novena MRT station he would not get fined liao... haha... let's hope the traffic warden never record down his number. haha... But the funny thing was Low was asking me what time the bus lane restriction starts. Haha... i told him, "now", then he said, "won't be so suay lah"... haha... Then at that moment in time, a traffic warden was standing beside the road with a camera on a tripod... haha... Oh Shit... haha... Anyway the fine is $130. I really hope they would be lenient lah and give Low a chance.

Ai yo... and didn't do any homework today again... Sianz...

Think i go sleep first then wake up early tomolo to do.



6/27/2006 10:13:00 PM | |

Saturday, June 24, 2006 

Sleep ~ Sleep ~ Sleep
OMG... i slept the whole day today, i can't believe it.

Woke up at 9am, laze around till 11am then went to collect my lab results from Doctor Chen and was please to know all was well except my Bilirubin was a bit high but no cause for concern. Best of all, my most feared Cholesterol level was normal. In any sense, my body still functions like an athelete although i'm a bloody slacker now. haha... Hmm... must go back to competitive sports soon. Until then, we shall cut back on those fatty foods. haha...

Anyway, i told doc i was feeling sleepy all the time after taking the last course of medicines, haha... the strange thing was the ones i took in the morning was suppose to make me alert. Haha... But instead i was yawning away in class all the time... haha... Anyway, i now i got another medication to boost my energy level. Hee... let's see what happen next week in class...

Came home at 12pm plus, had lunch and u won't believe it, i went back to sleep again till 6...

Haha... Then woke up and watch TV. I've been a complete slacker today, i was supposed to do my homework. I only started on my homework after dinner. haha... Damn... and until now i only did 2 pages... haha... 2 chapters worth of homework and i only done 2 pages...

Yesterday something very "Qiao" happened. Haha... I met up with karen for dinner before our salsa class. Guess who we saw at Maxwell Food Center? haha.. Lijuan, Nic, Murong & lionel... Jack & Jiahui came later. My first reaction was... wah... So "Qiao"... I can't believe it, like that also can meet up. Haha... Then it dawned upon me... "Wah lan... Go out Bo Jio..." haha... Basket... haha... But anyhow i was still happy to see them...


Above; Jiahui, lijuan, Murong, Lionel & Nic...
Jack refuses to take any pictures... haha...

Above, clockwise; Me, Karen, Jiahui (hee... Too short then kanna blocked), lijuan, muhrong, lionel and nic...

Above; Me and Karen...

Anyway, yesterday was the last of the basic salsa session. Dewei couldn't make it becoz of work and Leen & Ah Bee were late. Ah Bee got classes lah and have to cut short class to come salsa. Besides that, there were a few guys missing too... There was the old guy and the ah beng guy... They weren't there. Hee... i still think i got 2 left feets lah, haha... my dancing still looks damn stiff... haha... But think it will be a while before we'll start dancing again. Intermediate 1 will have to wait.

We can't make next Friday's intermediate 1 classes coz Ah bee got her classes and too bad no other slots for the intermediate 1 classes for this month, we'll have to wait till the next. haha... i dun think i wanna go dance alone also lah, so pai say... and friends always stick together lah. Besides, i dun think i will have the dicipline to drag myself down to the dance studio every week. hee...

Last night was also the first time we dropped by union square. Haha... Seems like our whole salsa class had been there liao except us... haha... Yesterday was ladies night lah, so karen, Ah bee & leen went in to check it out first while me and kelvin waited outside. Haha... They came out 5 mins later. haha... verdict? forget it lah, the people there too pro liao, most prob we go there drink and see people dance only. Haha... But will lah... one day we shall dance inside... haha...

So we met up with beng who came by to look for us earlier and made a detour and headed down to bugis instead for some place to drink and chat. The 6 of us ended up at Phins and stayed till 12 plus before going home. No alcoholic drinks, only smoothies... haha...

Anyway Ah Bee looked great last night! : ) Surprisingly even after classes.

6/24/2006 11:39:00 PM | |

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 

Sweeping Today's Dust...
Sweeping today's dust under tomolo's rug- a way of saying- leaving a task till tomolo or should i say hiding it till a later date. Haha... But often in the end, it would be one hell of a spring cleaning if u were to finally start sweeping up the dirt. Especially if u were to keep sweeping everything under the rug every time.

Lets see, yesterday i have two Chapter 15 homework to do, and i've decided to leave it till today, unfortunately, my lethargic mind has refused to work. So it remains undone and worst of all, Chapter 16 homework has came in. OMG... i'm never gonna finish them before the weekends...

Haha... Actually beside that, i think i've been pushing off somethings in my personal life too... For fear of making mistakes i guess, but at least it beats not doing anything and leaving it under the rug. Haha... Easier said than done. Haha... So now i've plenty of pieces to pick up and i dun really know where to start too...

Somethings i should have opened my damn mouth to say, but for the fear of making mistakes i shut up. But than, making the greatest mistake of your life beats having to guess the outcome.

Haha... i wished it was that simple. But the law of physics states, "for every action, there's a reaction." What we do are governed by this law. Like, if i do this, that might happen, and when that happened, something else might happen and so on... So It's really not that simple...

So as u can see, i have one big spring cleaning in my life to do, but yet it feels like a balancing act on a tight rope... haha... How exciting...

Hmmm... think i'll go & sleep... i'll wake up early tomolo morning to do my homework... Hee... And time to say goodnite to "lavender". haha... Someone got a new nickname liao... haha... Anyway sounds nice mah... hahahaha...

Ok goodnite to all... : )

6/21/2006 09:56:00 PM | |

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 

LIFE
What's important, what's not?

Some things that are deemed so important could turn the opposite in the next instant and some things that u have worked so hard for all your life could just be lost the very next day.

I could have gotten my degree, a good career, a nice car, a big house and maybe a great wife and kids, everything i ever wanted, but then, i may well lose it all if Singapore get blown to bits if another world war arises. Well... u are right, i'm overexaggerating, Singapore do not have to get blown to bits, all i have to do is die of an heart attact. It would still be back to nothing again.

Anyway before army, i had a life that i thot was great, i had accomplished what others could only envy, well... not everything, but almost. Then now after army... seems like i've lost everything and i'm back to zero again. So what was working so hard back then for? Haha... Beats me. But it sure make me look good back then. Haha... Now look at me, i'm jobless, penniless, not a single cent to my name and still single. For your information, this is the freaking longest time i've been single in my life!

i thot life was a cumulative effect, u would slowly gain your way up from nothing to everything. haha... but i thot wrong, at some point of time in life, u would lose everything and have to start all over again. Something like a cycle. Nothing - Something - Everything then back to Nothing again. Yap... life really suck... But on the brighter side of things, even if u screw up this time u'll get another chance at the next cycle. haha...

So now, i'm back at the bottom of the social food chain... Nice... : (

6/20/2006 09:44:00 PM | |

Monday, June 19, 2006 

Life is Such a Dilemma...
There are always choices to be made and non are favourable. Or at the very most, choose the lesser of two evils.

Sigh... Often, keeping the truth would be the lesser of two evils. Because the truth will hurt, or should i say, at the end point of truth, someone will get hurt. Either u, the other party or some other parties...

But... should u keep it to yourself, u will end up feeling miserable, very miserable, but at least no one gets hurt. So there is your lesser of 2 evils... Seriously i rather feel miserable.

Recently i like this gal (yah... keep guessing!), unfortunately i couldn't tell her how i feel.

Why? because i doubt she has any feeling for me and that will really hurt... *ouch*

It's not that i'm afraid of rejection, it's what that will result from the rejection that i'm afraid of. Like trying to avoid me after that, friendships being divided, lines being drawn and boundries being set up. OMG... i can't finish naming all... but i can assure u, it might turn out real ulgy.

I had a taste of that once, and once is enough for me already, the very thought is still fresh in my mind. I can still remember telling someone that i liked her and the next thing i know, the whole universe has turned it's back on me.

So why dun i just keep everything to myself, shut the hell up and pretend nothing has ever happened. This way, although i might feel real miserable, but at least i get to keep what's already in my hands- Our friendship.

Always remember... Lessers of two Evils...

Sigh... If u ask me how much i want to let her know how i feel? Haha... Verrrry Verrry Much...

Haha... But then again u all can't do anything, coz u all dunnoe who she is, haha... so the choice is still up to me. haha...

Sigh... Dilemma...

6/19/2006 08:24:00 PM | |

Saturday, June 17, 2006 

I'm so tired.
This is one damn tiring week. Could hardly wake up this morning, but somehow still managed to accompany my mom to the market.

Then there was yesterday where i couldn't stop yawning in class in the morning and could hardly keep awake during salsa class at night. So tired leh... I dun think it was the world cup, i think it's something else.

Anyway i'm too tired to post anything else... maybe i'll continue tomolo or something...

6/17/2006 01:25:00 PM | |

Thursday, June 15, 2006 

I give up...
This world cup has been a real disappointment, after betting almost $90, i've not won any money. Well... i could have won some money if i have betted on the winning teams, but instead i betted on the exact score of the match.

Singapore Pools odds are just too low to bet on the winning teams, let's see, if u bet on England to win Trinidad & Tobago tonight, the odds would only be 1.12, which means u bet $10 u would only win $1.20. Or u could bet on Tinidad & Tobago to win, the odds will be 15.00. But would u be crazy enough to do that? Hmmm... anyway sound like a good idea. haha... It's hot over at Germany, the English boys might not be able to take the heat. haha...

Exact scores have a much better odds, like 8.5 for a England to win 2:1, but then again, world cup is a place where "shit happens"! haha... Dun pin too high hopes. U win some, U lose some alot, just dun lose all can already.

Anyway i dun really have mood for my jap homework. It's world cup season and i'm damn tired from watching the matches. Haha... But that's beside the point, I'm wondering if i should continue intermediate 1, or should i give myself a short break and take up the 2 days part time course instead of the full day. Like that i could have more time to myself. Well... if u think i have a lot of free time, that's not really true, much of my free time have been spend doing my jap homework. My time are more flexible, not neccessary free.

6/15/2006 07:48:00 AM | |

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 

OMG... Japan Lost 3:1
Fuck i can't believe it, what the fuck happened? last night's world cup match between Australia & Japan was a disappointment. The Japanese team look so lifeless last night... little teamwork, no flair, no nothing. I won't blame them if they were playing against a strong team like brazil. but KNN... Against Australia? Fuck... Frankly the Australians were lucky last night, they made far too many mistakes but Japan was too stoned to capitalised on any. Fuck! I give up...
Let's not talk about them any more. As for the rest of the match u could just buy japan to lose...

Our only hope for the Asians would be the Korean!

Haha... and i've subscribed to the SCV worldcup channel already... haha... now i could watch the matches at the comfort of my own home.

Anyway something crossed my mind yesterday. I realised impressing gals with your "all so sweetness and goodness" doesn't work anymore. Forget about chasing after a gal over a long period of time. Chances are that u have failed miserably and yet unknowingly. haha... Nowadays, gals would prefer to be swept off their feets in one instant, wham bam... Quick & Intense...

If u were to compare it to military terms, it would like a long hard campaign vs a nuclear strike. In simple terms, gals would rather get blown away to bits in one strike than slog it out in a long and bloody battle. Haha... Well, anyway it did bring about a quick respond to the Japanese's surrender during Second World War... Where else, if the pacific theater was left to the british, i would most probably be a japanese citizen now. haha... Hmmm... anyway i dun mind being Japanese. I like the Japaneses. haha... But that's beside the point, i'm merely the result of the victory claimed from the use of the atom bomb.

So, if u dun have the smiles and eyes to melt a gal's heart, i suggest u go do some plastic surgery. Next best thing? Be loaded with cash so u can finance your long hard campaign... haha...

6/13/2006 07:09:00 PM | |

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 

1000!
hahahahahahaha... my blog has finally surpassed the 1000 visitor count! haha...
hmmm... but i wonder who were the people that visited my blog. haha... coz only a handful know my blog's web address, haha... So it means that there are alot of people that dun know me but yet know my deepest thoughts... haha...

Ok, there's a few things to smile about today!

~ONE~
i've finally finished all my jap homework! haha... my homework submission is now up to date with the lesson plan. haha... Best of all, i didn't even have to wake up at 6am in the morning to rush my homework like i always have to. Haha... Coz i finish them last night, or rather, 4am in the morning. haha... Nevertheless, this morning i could just take my own sweet time to prepare to go for class. haha...

~TWO~
Last night i saw Amy! haha... the gal living a floor below me. haha... It has been 2 years since i last saw her... haha... serious! haha... Anyway she's really chio now. haha... What the heck, all these while she's chio lah, but she's more chio now coz she has slimmed down and has a more svelte figure. haha...

~THREE~
Xuan xuan's shows are back again on channel 55, 56... haha... dunnoe who is she ah? Jessica Xuan... haha... Watch more TVBS dramas lah ah! haha... I just love xuan xuan's shows... haha...

~Four~
Haha... Dunnoe lah, just in a good mood today.

Anyway there is nothing wrong with smiling to yourself, on the contrary to what damien and jason thinks, i think it's perfectly fine and no, i dun look crazy! haha...

Ok, while on the 124 bus to orchard this morning, i was listening to my 杨丞琳 song, snipplets of happy memories began filling my mind, from the days of secondary school to poly days to my army days. As i look back at the past, i couldn't help but smile.

What good are memories if u can't look back at them to find happiness and a source of comfort and encouragement for the challenges and hardship ahead. I love looking back at happy memories, becoz when i'm so worn out, it cheers me up and grant me comfort from the demands of this world.

Haha... dun understand what i'm talking about, try opening up to youself first.

haha... alright, going to sleep soon. i only had 4hrs of sleep. haha...

6/07/2006 07:38:00 PM | |

Monday, June 05, 2006 

Happiness...
happiness cannot be found but comes from within oneself,
and sadness cannot be cast upon by anyone but your ownself.
So does, fear, anxiety, disappointment, anger, hate...

So why do we always choose to feel sad? personally i dunnoe. i could have chose to be happy as it's in my power to do so. Yet i've let negative feelings overcome me countless times.
Is life really miserable and not worth living the remaining days? I've thot of that quite a number of times.

Fankly my life could be said to be an envious one, enriched with plenty of experiences many could only dream of. Yet i've found no joy in the things i do. Where there should have been pride, i found only this feeling of emptiness.

I've tried to be more optimistic, somehow, no matter what i do, i end up wonderng if it's worthwhile doing or not...

haha... feels like midlife crisis... haha...
feeling too worn out, yet too early to quit... haha...
damn what am i to do...
looks like i've got to look for some new magical meaning in life... haha...

Anyway today is term 2 of my jap class. Original class now left with, josilin, me, Low, Nari, Toshi, Steve, Siew Chin. Gone were Raymond, Jes, Fei & Amilia. In their place are now 3 new ladies. haha... too bad, haven't personally got to know them yet... But i think won't be long before they join us for lunch after class... haha... hmmm... i think i should start to get to know them better. Starting with the long legged, indonesian chinese... haha... who wore a very short demin mini skirt to class today! haha... Wah, what a great way to start off term 2! Yay!

LAstly, i think my standard of english is getting from bad to worse! haha...

6/05/2006 08:42:00 PM | |

AboUt Me

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