Hmmm... Do i look like a loser?
Think most of u all are sniggering in jest, wondering "has Jonathan lost his ego?" Sad to inform all the laughing goofballs out there that the answer is "NO!" Though i was alittle dissappointed. Dissappointed by what happened for the past 1 year. Think i had enough.
First of all lets start with my canoeing team, sprinters to be exact, the feelings i had with u all 3 years back & the feeling now is totally different, u all gave me the feeling like i'm a outsider, no longer part of the team. Yah, i may be an alumni, but i still race under the flag of NP. I may not be as good as i was but doesn't mean i'm not good enough. I'm still good enough to win something & not many could beat me even till now. So how about some respect.
Well... what am i talking about?
How about not inviting me to all the gatherings?
How about not inviting to birthday parties & outings?
How about not inviting on MSN chat?
How about not inviting for online games?
Well... u think i'm petty over such small things. well, i'm fine with not inviting me to all those since i may be in camp & all those shits & yadda yadda... After all, like what u all think i may be too out of your "click" to join u all. Well that's fine with me too! But do u know what really hurts?
How about not remembering to submit my race registration for the long distance kayaking competition last December? I trained with u all for 3 months for the race. In any way i am as ready to go, as strong as any of u. Haha... maybe there's too many of u all racing, my participation in this race may just slipped your mind. It' ok, i'm fine with that. Mass submission always got problems. But U guys promised to count me in on the next race.
But u know when is the last straw? how about not informing me National Canoeing Marthon is coming up? Anyway the race is tomolo, i really wish u all luck, u all are gonna need it. Coz from the way u all race, there's no team effort, all only want to win medal for themselves. Many of u will not win. Well... those so called "trained very hard" good for u, coz u all will win- forsake the rest to win! The desire to win will be just too great right? Trained so hard how can miss out the chance to win?
Fuck, u all just fail to understand right? long distance is a team event. U need team leader to find a good clean path, pacers to keep pace & speed, "destractors" to mess up other opponent's concentration & of coz encouragement from one & other. I sincerely wish u all Good luck. Anyway i thought someone told me there isn't enough slots for everyone. Well... seems like anyone is still better than me. Thanks. In my 2 yrs as NP captain, regardless whether i liked the person or not, i'll still place him in the race if he's good enough. Seems like i'm not good enough, in that case it's funny to see so many people behind me during training. Hai... I give up lah...
U all do whatever u want i dun care lah, let me tell u a little history. A few year back, our sprinting team was on the verge of close down. My senior pinned all their hopes on the popular canoe polo. Only a handful were left in the sprinting team. I took over, go on a recruitment campaign & built up the team. I never thot in the end it would come to this now. Seems like i'm almost transparent.
Maybe it's finally time to give up, after all, my paddle have been mistakenly swapped with someone else's. Now it's no where to be found. Instead i got back a paddle in a worst condition than mine. I bet many people believe my paddle belong to the school since i never said anything, but i actually paid for it with my own money. i lent it to u guys out of trust. Trust that u all will take care of it! But seems like no one bothered who it belongs to anyway right?
Anyway no matter what i do for the team no one would be grateful. How about thanking me for coming down to support u guys last december even when u all left out my name for the race. It seems that u all can remember jack, Jiahui & jiamin, how they took the trouble to come down, buy refreshment for u all. How about having some thoughts for me? I'm i not worthy enough for some? I was also with them from rushing down by cab, to buying all those drinks.
Come to think of it, even if i dun come down for training think u guys won't notice the difference, after all, u all already have everyone u need in the team, u all do not need me any more, I'm not needed in races since u all can win it for yourselves already!
Way to go! Keep it up... I want to see u all make it to the top, after all, to me, i'm part of np team, just not yours' only,~ the "still-in-np-only-canoeist IVP team". Coz that's the feeling u all gave me. I'm no longer in NP so i'm out of the team.
Well think i said enough & i shall no longer say it again. If u all want me to race, i will. If not it's ok... But dun expect me to give 100% already. Coz i can't, i dun know whom or why i'm racing for. I'm feeling really unappriciated & I no longer see the point in all these already.
U guys have fun & good luck for tomolo race! Sorry i can't be down there supporting u guys, coz i got a bloody guard duty to serve! But at least it's comforting to know NP team still surviving & fighting strong! Think that's what every captain from each generation hoped for.
Good Luck!
Think most of u all are sniggering in jest, wondering "has Jonathan lost his ego?" Sad to inform all the laughing goofballs out there that the answer is "NO!" Though i was alittle dissappointed. Dissappointed by what happened for the past 1 year. Think i had enough.
First of all lets start with my canoeing team, sprinters to be exact, the feelings i had with u all 3 years back & the feeling now is totally different, u all gave me the feeling like i'm a outsider, no longer part of the team. Yah, i may be an alumni, but i still race under the flag of NP. I may not be as good as i was but doesn't mean i'm not good enough. I'm still good enough to win something & not many could beat me even till now. So how about some respect.
Well... what am i talking about?
How about not inviting me to all the gatherings?
How about not inviting to birthday parties & outings?
How about not inviting on MSN chat?
How about not inviting for online games?
Well... u think i'm petty over such small things. well, i'm fine with not inviting me to all those since i may be in camp & all those shits & yadda yadda... After all, like what u all think i may be too out of your "click" to join u all. Well that's fine with me too! But do u know what really hurts?
How about not remembering to submit my race registration for the long distance kayaking competition last December? I trained with u all for 3 months for the race. In any way i am as ready to go, as strong as any of u. Haha... maybe there's too many of u all racing, my participation in this race may just slipped your mind. It' ok, i'm fine with that. Mass submission always got problems. But U guys promised to count me in on the next race.
But u know when is the last straw? how about not informing me National Canoeing Marthon is coming up? Anyway the race is tomolo, i really wish u all luck, u all are gonna need it. Coz from the way u all race, there's no team effort, all only want to win medal for themselves. Many of u will not win. Well... those so called "trained very hard" good for u, coz u all will win- forsake the rest to win! The desire to win will be just too great right? Trained so hard how can miss out the chance to win?
Fuck, u all just fail to understand right? long distance is a team event. U need team leader to find a good clean path, pacers to keep pace & speed, "destractors" to mess up other opponent's concentration & of coz encouragement from one & other. I sincerely wish u all Good luck. Anyway i thought someone told me there isn't enough slots for everyone. Well... seems like anyone is still better than me. Thanks. In my 2 yrs as NP captain, regardless whether i liked the person or not, i'll still place him in the race if he's good enough. Seems like i'm not good enough, in that case it's funny to see so many people behind me during training. Hai... I give up lah...
U all do whatever u want i dun care lah, let me tell u a little history. A few year back, our sprinting team was on the verge of close down. My senior pinned all their hopes on the popular canoe polo. Only a handful were left in the sprinting team. I took over, go on a recruitment campaign & built up the team. I never thot in the end it would come to this now. Seems like i'm almost transparent.
Maybe it's finally time to give up, after all, my paddle have been mistakenly swapped with someone else's. Now it's no where to be found. Instead i got back a paddle in a worst condition than mine. I bet many people believe my paddle belong to the school since i never said anything, but i actually paid for it with my own money. i lent it to u guys out of trust. Trust that u all will take care of it! But seems like no one bothered who it belongs to anyway right?
Anyway no matter what i do for the team no one would be grateful. How about thanking me for coming down to support u guys last december even when u all left out my name for the race. It seems that u all can remember jack, Jiahui & jiamin, how they took the trouble to come down, buy refreshment for u all. How about having some thoughts for me? I'm i not worthy enough for some? I was also with them from rushing down by cab, to buying all those drinks.
Come to think of it, even if i dun come down for training think u guys won't notice the difference, after all, u all already have everyone u need in the team, u all do not need me any more, I'm not needed in races since u all can win it for yourselves already!
Way to go! Keep it up... I want to see u all make it to the top, after all, to me, i'm part of np team, just not yours' only,~ the "still-in-np-only-canoeist IVP team". Coz that's the feeling u all gave me. I'm no longer in NP so i'm out of the team.
Well think i said enough & i shall no longer say it again. If u all want me to race, i will. If not it's ok... But dun expect me to give 100% already. Coz i can't, i dun know whom or why i'm racing for. I'm feeling really unappriciated & I no longer see the point in all these already.
U guys have fun & good luck for tomolo race! Sorry i can't be down there supporting u guys, coz i got a bloody guard duty to serve! But at least it's comforting to know NP team still surviving & fighting strong! Think that's what every captain from each generation hoped for.
Good Luck!
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