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Friday, February 27, 2009 

What do we truely want?
i thought i had the answer, but yet why am i still feeling so lost? Or does objective changes in relevence to time, what may be important today may not be as important tomorrow?

These days, i crave success more than anything else, but there was also a time where love took precedence over all things. So what had changed? Pehaps a change in situation cause a change in goals.

i've gain an understanding that we are all slaves to time, changes in situations derives from the changes in times therefore certain time allows freedom in pursuits of whatever your heart desires, while certain don't. We don't get to choose, we only get to react to what that is thrown at us.

Or perhaps there is a choice, just that the repurcussion of the alternate choice may be less promising.

I do wished to have everything, but everybody knows that is not possible.

I'll do whatever it takes to substain my pursuit of goals and there may come a time where i will have to give up some so that other more important goals may be met, it's not complete abandonment, but rather a detour.

Sigh... must i always explain myself, why can't my actions be justified by current situations?

Personally i feel very tired being human, we seek assurance from each other, at work, at home, with friends and close ones. Why do we need to hold fast to our promises even when we know it's to our disadvantage and why must we be compelled to make promises? Can we move on with life without making promises, can relationships, by relationship i meant affliations, substain without having to provide assurance all the time?

In my life, i have never ask for promises, especially from friends, i do not want my friends to feel obliged to do something they do not want to. U can be sure they would do it if it's within their ability to do so as u would have done it yourself.

Perhaps it's for self assurance that we seek promises, thus we ended up imposing on others to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. -to assure ourselves.

Something for all of us to ponder over, in relation to what i mentioned, should we blame someone for something we ourselves are incapable of solving?

I'm not implying anything, perhaps we should seek new understanding to life.

Anyway American Idol is airing on Channel 5 tonight. haha... It's the Group 2 Semi, Yes TJWwwwwwWWWWWWWwwww... i watch American Idol too! haha... I already watch it on STAR TV already. heee... The perks of SCV. Didn't watch it live though, but recorded it on my Set Top box. Heee... yah, i got the recordable digital set top box. Haha... Freaking hilarious, u guys should watch.

Can we all just chill, life is already complex enough.

What do we truly want?

Perhaps we will live through life without ever finding out what we want, simply because it is too vague a question, that warrants too vast an answer.

But I do think a part of life is about experiencing what your decisions land you up in. And being a rational person, to admit that sometimes you do make a bad choice.

Borrowing from "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", "Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss."

"You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You can curse, you can swear. But in the end, you just have to let go."

--

Letting go is not easy, and I cannot do it everytime I hit a low note. But whenever I can, it feels exhilarating, and I count on that sense of liberation and peace of mind. I try to remember the good things. The bad feelings tend to linger longer than they should but I try.

I try to remember the good things.

Hey couz! eh u watched the show ah! haha... Yah i read it on your blog. hmmm... By Opportunity do u mean "chances" or do u mean "experences"? haha... anyway i bought the DVD from my last PEK trip! haha... I'll go watch!

i'll see u soon couz for our FRA. U better dun go change flight i tell u! haha...

Please lah I won't change flight one!

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